Teens must learn to take ‘no’ for an answer, say experts

PUNE: The words teenaged and high-spirited may seem synonymous but add a tinge of impulsive aggression to the mix and the concoction very quickly tips towards recklessness. With recent episodes of violent, public outbursts involving under-aged motorists as evidence, city-based psychologists and educationists point out that youngsters often react violently against anyone with whom they differ.
The latest cases in point involve under-aged drivers travelling on the wrong side of the road. In both cases, the youngsters were brazen in attacking the very people who pointed out their mistake.
The behaviour not only points to a lack of impulse control among the accused, but is also a sign of poor emotional self-regulation in a generation that seems to have grown up with easy fulfilment of demands and plenty of temptations, say psychologists.
City-based expert Himani Chaphekar believes the recent cases are examples of a changing society that is increasingly individualistic as well as reflective of poor personality development factors among those committing such acts.
“Many youths today suffer from a lack of impulse control in various aspects of their lives, essentially because they are accustomed to a lifestyle of instant gratification. As a result, they get angry at the slightest hint of their gratification being thwarted by anyone. A low emotional quotient also makes them more susceptible to violent behaviour, especially if they feel unable to suitably express themselves verbally,” she says.
Nuclear families aggravate the situation, believes principal of SP College Dilip Seth. The educationist was instrumental in organized an anger management workshop for students last year with the help of the institute’s department of psychology. “Many children have a lot of pent up emotions, as they stay alone for long hours while their parents are at work. Regular dialogue between such children and parents or even teachers is a must. This may motivate many to come out of their shell,” he shares.
Logical and consistent limitations need to be set by parents and school authorities, says Prajakta Deshpande, clinical psychologist practicing in Baner. “Very indulgent parenting can typically give rise to this kind of behaviour. Many children also have problems with accepting authority. Besides, adolescence is a transitional age. Parents must learn to accept children’s reactions when they say no. The youth also need to understand the consequences of their actions logically,” she says.